A Very Naughty Drabble
by chocobeer
Summary: Zuko has ways of persuading stubborn waterbenders to spill their secrets...use your imagination, folks. T for sexual innuendos and a very bad makeout scene. Cheers!


Zuko paced in front of Katara, glaring at her through slitted yellow eyes as rain beat down on the roof. Lightening flashed, and thunder growled menacingly in the distance.

"For the last time," she told him angrily, "I don't know where he is!" She struggled against the ropes binding her hands over her head, but the knots were too tight. She frowned and leaned against the pole at her back.

"And for the last time," Zuko snarled, stopping his pacing, "_I don't believe you_."

Katara smirked. "You can believe whatever you want to believe, _Your Highness_," making the honorific sound like the worst curse imaginable. "Besides, even if I did know where he was, I wouldn't tell you." She lifted her chin defiantly, gazing into his eyes as he stopped in front of her.

Zuko smirked down on her, another bolt of lightening throwing his features into sharp relief. He began to circle her like a shark circling a fish that was slowly bleeding to death. "Whatever you say," he said casually. "But I do have…_ways_ of making stubborn waterbenders spill their secrets." Thunder rolled again as he stopped behind her and bent to whisper into her ear.

"I hoped it wouldn't come to this," the obvious huskiness in his voice saying otherwise.

Katara's breath caught in her throat as he slunk around the pole to face her, so close she could feel the heat rolling off him in waves. She narrowed her eyes up at him, trying to keep the blush from rising to her face.

"You wouldn't dare," she whispered breathlessly, half hoping that he would. Zuko just raised his one good eyebrow, smirking. "Wouldn't I?" he murmured, inching closer as another sudden blast of thunder seemed to echo his challenge.

Katara drew a breath to retort, but was cut off by lips suddenly on her, kissing her senseless. She moaned into his mouth, closing her eyes in bliss. Seeing as her hands were tied above her head, she couldn't do anything to stop Zuko from untying the sash around her waist and running his hands up and down her stomach. (Not that she would have done anything to stop him if she could.)

"Oh, Zuko," she mumbled as he bent down a bit more to kiss her neck. He just growled, trying to undo her breast band.

And suddenly, the door flew open. A tiny girl, looking about five years old, tousle-haired and holding her platypus bear like it was a lifeline, stumbled into the room.

"Mommy, Daddy, the thunder is scaring…" she trailed off, looking at her parents, who were completely frozen in their incriminating positions. Her fear forgotten, she squinted at the pair. "Daddy?" she asked slowly, "Why is Mommy tied to that pole?"

Silence reigned in the Firelord's bedroom for a few seconds, no noises to be heard but the rain and the snorts of mirth from the guards outside of the door. Then Zuko snapped to attention so quickly it made his daughter jump back a bit.

"Nothing, Kana, just…remembering old times…when your mother and didn't get along so well," he stammered awkwardly, trying to shield Katara from their daughter's curious gaze.

"It sounded like they were getting along just fine to me," said one of the guards to the other in a whisper that carried down the hall. "I _told_ you he had a rope fetish!" Zuko turned brilliantly red, now bearing a great resemblance to a giant tomato.

Kana scrunched up her nose. "Daddy, what is a fet-ish?"

'Daddy' jumped at her, turning her around and ushering her out with very fast, garbled excuses.

"OhnothingjustsomethingforgrownupslookhowlateitisyoushouldbeinbedmissygobotheryourGrandpaIroh." He gave her a little push down the hallway. She tottered away, looking mystified, but excited to ask her grandpa what had just happened. Zuko turned on the guards, who were still trying to muffle their laughter. They snapped to attention, attempting (unsuccessfully) to keep straight faces.

"As for you two," he hissed, eyes narrowed and cheeks still red. If looks could kill, they would both be six feet under. "You are both fired in the morning!" Lieutenant Jee threw him a hearty salute, not bothering to keep from smiling anymore. "Yessir, bright and early sir!"

Zuko stalked back into the room, slamming the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, face in his hands, ignoring his wife's struggles to free herself.

"Katara," he groaned, "why did you have to have kids?"

Katara pursed her lips somewhat angrily, but still had a hint of humor in her voice. "She was _your_ idea, if I remember correctly, Mr. I-want-to-get-my-wife-pregnant-right-away. Now help me get down." Zuko stood up and burned the ropes off the pole, freeing her hands, then slumped back onto the bed. Katara flopped down next to him, rubbing the marks left from her 'interrogation' vigorously. Laughing at the look on Zuko's face, she hugged him around the waist, kissing his temple.

"Aw…don't pout, Zuzu." He glared at her half-heartedly. "We can always try again tomorrow." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Or right now, if you want…" He looked marginally more cheerful as Katara pushed him down and lay on top of him.

"Besides," she whispered into his ear, as she kissed his neck, "we can always do ropes again on your birthday."

* * *

Geez...

Jetlag plus chocolate plus 2:00AM plus Zutara plus Perversion equals OMG DID I ACTUALLY WRITE THAT?

Well…every Zutara shipper has to have a capture/pseudo smut story…At least I had some fun with mine.

Review, please!


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